Stuff, stuff and more stuff.

This photo has nothing to do with my post but I love it so here it is anyway!

It never ceases to amaze me, how much ’stuff’ a baby requires. On one outing to Arundel for Sunday lunch, the following was necessary to jam into my quite small Vauxhall Corsa:

1 Baby Seat

1 Buggy that Takes up The Entire Boot of My Car

1 Change Bag, containing 3 nappies, nappy bags, spare set of clothes in case of bottom accidents, muslin, wipes, change mat… etc. Oh, and a hat.

1 Lunch Box containing steamed sweet potato and courgette, 1 Plate, 1 Cup, 1 Beaker containing Cool Boiled Water

1 Parasol in case of sun

1 Umbrella in case of rain

1 Blanket in case of cold

3 Toys (that’s quite restrained for me actually)

1 Granny and 1 Grandad

1 Mum and…

1 Baby.

How I ever make it out of my front door never ceases to amaze me. I have, however, developed a worrying habit of leaving my flat door wide open when I go out. I think it may be to do with my brain telling me that there is always one more thing to remember. Like when you take the plug out of the sink after doing the washing up. Sorry, I don’t know what on earth I am going on about in this post, I think I may have lost the plot completely!

Of seagulls and their daft offspring…

I feel anxious today. I don’t know why, really – maybe it is just amalgamated lack of sleep for five months. Owen has been very whingey today, too and earlier I didn’t know what to do with him at all, he’d had a nice long nap, and a good feed, and still was crying and fidgety. Then I just lay him on his wriggle rug and gave him a monster caterpillar (or is it a centipede, I can’t work it out) and he has been happy as larry for the last twenty minutes, giggling and playing away. Reminder to self: sometimes less is more and sometimes more is more, and you will not know which is true of  a baby unless you try it.

There was a baby seagull in the back garden at five thirty this morning, squawking pathetically through a megaphone right outside the window. His mum sat on the roof, shrieking like a banshee through a PA system hired for Glastonbury, seemingly. This duet woke Owen up, who decided it would be a good idea to join in. I woke to these beautiful harmonies, which continued till seven, although I think Owen did drop off again at some point. The baby seagull was still there when we got back from mother and baby group, so I opened the back gate and let it out. I felt somehow that I ought to be more concerned for its welfare, being a mum myself and all, that it ought to bring out my mothering instinct… but all I could think about was, how great it would be if I had a shotgun, I could shoot any seagull and its daft offspring that ventured into my path.

Now, does that make me a horrible person, or just a normal person? There is a contingent of seagull lovers in my road who would say the former, no doubt…

Wean, baby, wean!

Owen tucks into carrot for the first time.

Have been swimming today, with mum. Owen seemed much happier in the water than he does in his lessons so I’m thinking of stopping them for now. They are so expensive, and he doesn’t seem to be enjoying them that much so its a no-brainer really. Other news… I am shattered, Owen is waking up a lot at night at the moment, three, sometimes four times and I am like a zombie. I can’t wait for the day he sleeps through!

The major thing at the moment is weaning. Its going well, one meal a day – lunch, because he’s always in a reasonably good mood around lunchtime, whereas at dinner time he can be a bit tired and cross. I’ll keep him on just lunches for a couple of weeks, then introduce breakfast and finally the evening meal when I feel he’s getting the hang of it. He’s doing brilliantly, considering he’s a bit young for baby-led weaning. He can pick up food and bring it to his mouth, he’s tasted loads of different things now and has even swallowed some of it (proof is in the poo if you know what I mean!!) Courgette is his favourite food at the moment, by a long way.

Baby led weaning is a messy business, though. I bought a shower curtain and cut it into four for mess mats, and I’m using old baby-gros put on him back-to-front as all over bibs, which works well. I did try him with a sheet with a hole cut in it, but it gets in the way of his arms so he got a bit frustrated. He also gets a bit cross when he can’t pick things up – like avocado and papaya. Actually, that’s an understatement. He goes mental. He tries to pick it up, it slips out of his hand. He tries again, it breaks and goes in his lap. He sort of barks, then looks at me in sheer disgust, then his face crumples, he shrieks at the top of his lungs and tries to launch himself backwards out of his bumbo chair. If he’s wearing the sheet, this gets in his way so he ends up chewing on a piece of sheet as opposed to avocado, which also doesn’t help his mood. So I am giving him a little help with picking things up at the moment, I know it’s sort of cheating but I can’t sit by and watch him struggle, it wouldn’t be fair really! You try picking up avocado – it aint easy even for a forty year old!

I love him so much my teeth hurt

Shhh… Owen is asleep! This is his new thing, he wakes very early, around 6am, huffs and puffs and kicks till mum wakes up and plays with him, then almost like clockwork, bang on 9am just as mum has woken up fully, dressed and is getting into the day, he goes off to sleep again! I don’t mind really, it does give me a chance to do stuff, have a bath and things but I could really do with the extra sleep myself, and I just can’t sleep at this time of day. Once I’m up, that’s it. I guess it does mean that he is in a much better mood later on in the day though. Oh, it’s a hard life, being a baby!

Today is Owen’s hospital dermatology appointment, and, as if on cue, his skin is looking peachy and smooth as a baby’s bottom, to quote a phrase (actually Owen’s bottom strangely enough looks like it’s got cellulite, and isn’t smooth at all!). I am hoping that the dermatologist won’t just think I’m a paranoid, overreacting mummy. Luckily the doctors have referred me so they have to take it seriously. Don’t they? Well, we’ll see. He may have to have a blood test as well, as the doctor has recommended he has allergy tests. Aargh, I really am not looking forward to that. I absolutely hate seeing Owen have needles stuck in him. I hate having needles stuck in me, I can’t imagine how he feels, my little man.

Every day that passes at the moment brings new developments, now. I think Owen is going through a kind of developmental frenzy, he’s just started sitting up on his own. He loves standing up and can support his own weight – that’s happened very quickly. He is starting to roll onto his side from his back more. He is showing signs of wanting to crawl, but hasn’t quite coordinated lifting head and bum off the floor at the same time yet. He’s having one meal a day – lunch, and eating things like courgette, carrot, parsnip, banana, sweet potato, cucumber. I’m avoiding acidic fruits for now, since he’s reacted to grape and melon. He’s cutting another tooth, I think. This morning he brushed his tooth for the first time! Well, he chewed a toothbrush. But it’s a start! It made me want to laugh and cry at the same time, watching him happily chewing his new toothbrush.

To quote a friend, who said this of her partner but it’s so true of how I feel about Owen… “I love him so much my teeth hurt”.

Standing up monster!

Standing up is such fun!

We seem to be in the middle of a heatwave. Today looks like it’s going to be a scorcher – its already 23 degrees in here at 7.30. Normally it’s gone down to around 19-2o degrees. Yesterday was almost too hot to do anything. I had been going to stay in and sort out a load of boring stuff that I’ve been saving up, but most of these boring things involved phone calls and what do you know, my phone decided to pack up. So that scuppered that plan. The  temperature climbed and climbed. Me and Owen had lunch in the garden, under our new gazebo. I had salad, Owen had a slightly unusual combination of sweet potato, courgette and cucumber sticks! Yes, I have started baby led weaning properly now! I am going to give Owen one meal a day, probably lunch usually but sometimes evening meal. I will offer him two or three food choices on his bumbo tray and see how he goes with them.

The problem is that he has had allergic reactions to some fruits, specifically grape and melon so far. The first time it happened was last week, it was frightening. I had just given him a little taste of some grape flesh, crushed up on my finger – the tiniest amount. I don’t even think he could have ingested any of the flesh, but he seemed to be enjoying the taste of the juice. Then suddenly he became very distressed and began scratching his arms and squealing. I looked at his arm and it was covered in angry, raised weals. Then I noticed that round his mouth was all red and sore too. My heart stopped, then started again at triple speed. I phoned mum in a panic, then the doctors. They were closed, but there was still a doctor there so they said to go in. I tried to drive sensibly but was terrified that Owen would stop breathing in the car, so it was hard… but by the time I got to the surgery he was giggling and smiling and the healthiest, happiest baby you ever could see! I think he does it to make me look silly or something! He still had the weals though, and the redness round the mouth so the doctor could see I wasn’t making it up!

She was going to give me an Epipen but then phoned the paediatric ward at the hospital and they said it wasn’t standard practice to do that, and they wouldn’t do it unless he’d had an anaphylactic reaction, ie. his breathing was compromised. So he has to be that close to dying before I am given the means to save his life. How ridiculous is that? Since then he has had another reaction – to melon.

My little man is getting harder to please too- he is prone to throwing dreadful tantrums! Oh, and his new favourite thing is standing up! He is not happy unless I am holding him in the standing up position. Aaargh… what manner of monster have I created? A standing up one, for sure!

Owen’s first foreign holiday!

I entertain my captive audience.

Well, we are back safe and sound from France and we both had a great time – better than I anticipated in fact. I was just a bit nervous really about how Owen would deal with the changes to his routine but he actually adapted pretty quickly and I did manage to keep at least his morning and bedtime routines going most of the time. I’m not going to try to remember every single detail of every day, but just pick out some notable highlights…

The journey over was fine although driving through Paris outskirts was a little hairy and we got stuck in horrendous traffic, which didn’t please Owen much. We stayed overnight in a hotel and then it was a flying visit to the Palace of Versailles the following day. Owen had to go in the sling as pushchairs aren’t allowed in the palace, and he promptly fell asleep and stayed asleep most of the time. So every photo of me has Owen kind of lolling on my chest in an ‘I’m so not interested’ way! I have to admit to not enjoying the palace much, it was so crowded and full of people just taking random photos of everything. The gardens would have been nice to walk around, but it was absolutely tipping it down with rain so we just made for the cafe, had lunch and left. A shame really – the weather started brightening up from this point onwards.

Down to the Limousin region, where the bungalow is and the weather started perking up. In fact we had mainly hot, sunny weather after this, with one day of rain. On sunny days we generally headed for one or other of the many lakes in the region and just chilled out (or sweltered) by a lake for the day. The lakes are treated pretty much as the seaside, with sandy beaches and cafes. But actually they are almost better than the beach, as they have large grassy areas to picnic and have much nicer views across to the other side. At this time of year there are not many people there either, so it was really peaceful usually. Owen went in for a couple of ‘dips’ – well, he sort of sat in the water at the edge and looked a little bewildered by it all! His first experience of non-swimming pool water. Like with swimming, he didn’t exactly look thrilled to bits, but he didn’t look like he hated it either, sort of nonplussed really. Mummy, what do you want me to do now you’ve plonked me here?

Of course we had some lovely meals. Even in the ‘fast food’ places or cheap cafes the food is incredible. So different to England where you have to pay through the nose to get decent food, and even then it’s not guaranteed. I have definitely put on weight – but that may also be to do with the fact that I have stopped the dairy free diet now and am back on the milk, cheese, butter etc. In France it’s just impossible to steer clear of dairy so I decided not to even attempt to. It hasn’t made the slightest difference to his eczema, in fact I think his skin seems slightly better if anything.

The time passed so quickly and it seemed barely any time at all between getting there and leaving. Owen was so good with everything, the long car journeys didn’t really phase him, he usually just went to sleep for most of them, or played with his mobile and toys. He did start losing the plot towards the end of a couple of them, unsurprisingly, but on the whole he proved to be a very good traveller!

There have been a few milestones for Owen, too. On the last day at the bungalow we had our evening meal outside and I gave Owen a piece of cucumber to suck – he actually bit off a few bits of it and seemed to really like it – although now I’ve seen the photos of him eating it his face is a picture of disgust! But since then he has tasted avocade, brocolli and banana too.

Then the day before yesterday, I had a little hunch about something so I looked in his mouth and there it was – his first tooth coming through! It’s just a little white, hard line at the moment but unmistakably his first tooth! He’s been gnawing and dribbling so much recently that I’m not surprised though! And now he’s started this high pitched whining that I’m sure is to do with his teeth, I don’t know why, just a hunch again I guess. I have bonjela gel for him but it doesn’t seem to do much really.

Finally, yesterday I popped him on his tummy in the living room with his music box and ran into the bedroom to get something. I must have been out of the room for 2 minutes maximum, and when I got back he was on his back! Owen’s first proper roll over, and I missed it! I tried to get him to do it again but he could only make it onto his side. But now I will have to be ultra careful where I put him. He can sit up really well on his own now, too, but lists from side to side still and falls over if left. And if I put him on the sofa in a leaning back position he will lean forwards and has fallen on his tummy twice now, so I can’t leave him on the sofa EVER.

My little man is growing so fast, I can barely keep up with everything he’s doing now!

Bon voyage!

I’m being lazy tonight and not doing any painting! Shocking I know. But I am feeling pretty tired so will just post this and then get an early night I think. We had swimming for the first time in 3 weeks today and Owen wasn’t very happy about it, and it was more than a little stressful, although he was fine as soon as we got home, laughing and giggling at me making stupid noises at him! I love him so much it hurts.

We are definitely now going to France next week, the passports came through yesterday by courier, so it’s bon voyage for us! I am excited but a little bit nervous about going away with Owen. I am sure it will be fine but its just taking him out of routine and also a few long car journeys. Just hoping that I won’t come back more tired and stressed than before! I am also hoping that the weather will be good, the forecast is not looking great for that region of France at the moment but looking at the ten day forecast it looks like it will clear up in the latter part of next week and that’s when we’ll be arriving. First stop though is Versailles. God, I so hope that Owen is okay with the journey. He’s usually fine in cars, he’ll just gurgle away or go to sleep. And the ferry is four hours. Oh well, in for a penny as they say. I’ll have to do some serious packing tomorrow. I’ve done a bit but I don’t want to disturb the sleeping beauty so it will have to be done tomorrow and Monday.

I’m off to get my beauty sleep now, much needed I have to say!!

Getting the creative juices flowing again…

 

Another morning post - there will probably be more morning posts now, as I have started using my evenings to paint. I’m doing a series of ‘fishing’ abstracts based on the fishing boats, nets and general equipment that’s left down on the beach. The first one has been ‘commissioned’ for my brother as a wedding present, and after two evenings I’ve already got the background colours blocked in so I’m feeling very happy!

It’s great actually that I can have every evening pretty much undisturbed to work on these. I have been completely unable to write any new songs at all since discovering I was pregnant. Actually, I haven’t even really picked the guitar up that much either, except I have started to sometimes play to Owen (and he loves it!). I have tried to write a song for Owen, but everything I come up with is either horribly sacharine-sweet or inappropriately melancholy sounding. How do you write about such an incredible love? My heart bursts every time I look at him, writing a song just ends up making me burst into tears! I’ve always found that in order to write successful songs I need to be a little removed from an emotional situation, otherwise they just end up being uninspired outbursts of raw emotion – ‘emotional vomiting’ I used to call it.

So painting, and particularly abstracts is a good way of getting my creative juices flowing again as it doesn’t involve any emotion. I can enjoy it as a purely intellectual problem. How to mix the exact colour and tone required. How to create shadow without using black. How to blend colour to create a 3d effect. Etcetera etcetera. The paintings are pretty much copies of a series of photos I took on the beach, although stylised and simplified. A few years ago I did some similar ones of farm machinery, when I was living on a farm. They turned out really well, so I’m hoping these ones will be as good. My brother has requested one as a wedding present, so that’s the one I’m working on first. It’s not my favourite of the whole bunch, but its one of my favourites. I’ve put the photo in this post.

So that’s my evenings taken up for a good while to come! On the rest of my days, well, this week has been absolutely beautiful weather. On Monday Owen and I went to Brighton and I spent money in White Stuff – that shop is EVIL! Also met brother for lunch in a pub garden which was very nice. On Tuesday I gave up on my fruitless eBaying of pushchairs that I just kept forgetting to track, and succumbed to a brand new one in Boots. It’s very stylish, lightweight, not as cosy for Owen as he is a little too small for it at the moment methinks, but he will grow into it and it is so much smaller and lighter than the old… okay, so I am trying to justify spending over a hundred quid on it… aaargh… I will have to go busking on the streets at this rate! Yesterday went to see our new friends Tina and her little one, Freddie. We were going to go for a walk along the seafront but there was a really chilly breeze so we just went back to hers and had coffee. Today am meeting some of the mums who used to go to the mother and baby group in a cafe by the sea.

Passports… well I checked on Tuesday and they still hadn’t been looked at. Will try again today but at the moment I’m not holding out too much hope that they will be ready for Monday. But keeping fingers and toes crossed…

Fin’s birthday barbie!

Owen smiles a lovely natural smile...I look like I'm gritting my teeth and clenching my buttocks...

Well as I mentioned yesterday, busy day today. Up really early to get over to the leisure centre for the paediatric first aid course. It was SCORCHIO again! Felt like being in Spain or Greece or somewhere like that, I just love it when it’s like this although a bit worried for Owen in the car because it gets like an oven. Then three hours of learning resusitation etc. on plastic dummies. It was actually really good. I do feel a bit more like I would be able to deal with an emergency now. Some of the mummies there I knew, too, which was nice.

In the afternoon drove over to Fin’s 1st birthday party. Of course it was in the garden! But half the garden was shaded which was good for the little ones, of whom there were many. Owen was the littlest there, again, and he was an absolute star, he was happy and gurgly and smiled for photos, and laughed and chatted and gooed etc. etc. etc… I love him soooooo much! It was really nice and relaxed, everyone was in super good mood because of the sunshine and generally had a lovely time. Drove back home at around 5.30 and it was still really hot. Owen was asleep in the carseat so I decided to just pop him in the buggy asleep and take a little stroll down the prom – the joy of living by the sea! It was beautiful. The beach was still quite busy but the water must have been quite cold as not many people were swimming – but a few were.

I have to go to bed now, I really have used up my reserves today!

Looking back nostalgically on night feeds??!!

Owen holds my parasol for me. A little higher, boy!!

Quick post as we have to be up early tomorrow – and its Sunday! It’s going to be a really busy day actually, baby first aid course for 3 hours in the morning and then Finley’s 1st birthday party in the afternoon. I will be shattered after that – as will Owen I imagine.

Today has been scorching hot, beautiful sunny day. Went to a car boot sale in Shoreham with mum, which was a very pleasant morning, bought some new toys for Owen and mum found a chair for him which I was madly jealous of so she gave it to me. Which made me feel a bit bad. But not bad enough to refuse. How bad am I?! But I will give her the chair that I have here for him so it’s kind of fair… isn’t it? (guilt, guilt…)

Then drove to Tesco to get a birthday prezzie for my cousin’s little boy who is one year old tomorrow. This is the party, of course. I also bought a bottle of wine and then spent the rest of the day salivating just thinking about it! Drove back to the flat and had some food in the garden while Owen slept off the effects of the car boot*. When mum had gone we retired inside to the bedroom so that Owen could be out of the sun for the rest of the day. The great thing about my bedroom is that it has a door opening onto the garden and the sun streams in through it, so I could sit sunning my legs while Owen played with his toys on the bed out of the sun! He was in a lovely sunny mood till about five o’clock and then little clouds of grumble started to emerge, which over the course of the next few hours built up to an unholy screaming session at bath time, sadly. I always hope for a lovely relaxed bath time to wind the day down, and he is usually okay till I take him out of the bath, at which point he absolutely raises hell and doesn’t stop till we are in the bedroom and he’s having the last feed. Today he started BEFORE the bath, stopped for a while when he was in the bath but then started again, and when I took him out there was no stopping him. On fine form, I’d call it.

He’s making little huffing noises now on the monitor so I don’t think he’ll be sleeping through tonight! Last night he woke three times which was very depressing as usually he only wakes twice and sometimes only once. I know that it’s likely that it will take time for him to start really not wanting the night feeds but when he does it once or twice I get my hopes up, only to have them dashed again! Oh well, I can’t wish his little life away can I? He’s only a baby for a short time, maybe one day I will look back nostalgically on night feeds – or not, as the case may be!

*Sale, that is. I did not put Owen in my car boot. Really. That would make me a terrible mother.