A lady-baby or a gentleman-baby?

I have been eating pretty much constantly all day today, and now I feel uncomfortably bloated. My lunches are becoming legendary, and seem to be getting bigger every day, causing my work colleagues much amusement. I take a lunchbox of chopped fruit to snack out on, sandwich or roll, crisps, cake, biscuits, yoghurt. And mixed seeds to finish off with. And sometimes I take my muesli in so I can eat breakfast at work. I am weighing in at around 10st at the moment, which means I’ve gained over a stone in weight since pre-pregnancy. I have not weighed that much since I lived in Greece – and that was because I had some kind of compulsive eating disorder!

This evening I found myself having a baby conversation with three male ex-work colleagues who were more than happy to talk about pregnancy pillows, breast pumps, perineal massage and baby names. Two with partners in the final few weeks of pregnancy, and one with two young children already. They were very sweet to talk to actually, and no one made any reference to the big absence that must have crossed their minds at some point. But actually he barely crossed my mind when I was talking about it, maybe for the first time. I thought afterwards, well that’s a good sign. Perhaps I am getting over him now, at last. Properly. Maybe baby and I can move on into a new phase of happiness without the spectre of the absent father hanging over us.

Only twelve days now until I can (hopefully!) find out if baby has the bits for a lady-baby or a gentleman-baby! I don’t know why, but I think he’s a he. Just a gut feeling. Funny isn’t it, how even at this stage everyone is very focussed on gender issues. Even those people who don’t want to know the sex prior to the birth are still very much excited by wondering whether they will have a boy or a girl. And everything for newborn babies is colour co-ordinated pink or blue. Absolutely EVERYTHING. You cannot buy neutral coloured baby stuff for love nor money. I suppose it makes it easier for strangers, and prevents any awkward gender recognition faux pas. The thing is, gender stereotyping notwithstanding, I’m really not into pink. I’d prefer any colour but pink – orange, maybe. Or even peach would be okay. Anyway, I’m going to sign off now and spend some time with baby before we go to sleep…