Pox-ridden, maggot-infested, scurfy lout

Well my little man is three months. I realised how big he’s got today at the mother and baby group. There was a new lady+baby there today, the little boy was only 3 weeks and he was so dinky! He really had that squished newborn look, so cute! And when he cried it was that little high pitched squeaking, not like my little man who screams like a banshee now!

It’s been a bit of a difficult week, where do I start? Well, Owen’s eczema starting getting out of control. I have about six squillion different creams, oils, bath lotions etc. for him already, none of which do anything. I have also cut out dairy products from my diet in case it is a food intolerance that is causing it, which means that I have started obsessing over food labels in the supermarket, much to Owen’s disapproval. Milk is the hardest thing. Soya milk is also a known allergen so I’m avoiding that which means my options are rice or oat milk. The rice milk is the slightly better option, I think. Anyway, by Tuesday afternoon I was feeling desperately unhappy as Owen’s eczema was particularly bad so on Wednesday morning I took him into the doctors. Oh yes, I forgot to mention that I also have an itchy spotty rash, all over my chest, neck and arms, which is driving me crazy. Between the pair of us we are scratch central. The doctor was nice to me, causing me to burst into tears. Now I think she thinks I have PND. But she did prescribe both of us some hydrocortisone cream, and Aveeno cream and some bath oil for Owen. And wonder of wonders, the eczema on Owen’s face has almost totally cleared up! And his chest and tummy are much better too. He still has it quite bad on his neck, elbows and knees but it’s so much better it’s like a miracle! My rash is still as bad though, in fact even more spots keep on appearing. It is horrid, but at least I know now that Owen’s eczema is controllable with the steroid cream. I have to use it very sparingly though.

The other thing is that I am getting quite a lot of breast pain during and after feeds. It’s bloody excruciating when he latches on and about 5 minutes afterwards my nipple goes white and a deep seated pain sets in. I phoned a breastfeeding counsellor and she said it sounded like thrush and I should get treated. Owen doesn’t have it though, at least he doesn’t seem to. But it’s yet another problem – I just want to be germ-free and healthy again! Please! I suspect that it all started with those antibiotics the doctor gave me for my cold. I was a bit puzzled why he gave me them anyway, when he said that it was probably viral. And it’s pretty well known that antibiotics often cause thrush. My immune system must be at rock bottom or something. Clearly I am a pox-ridden, maggot-infested, scurfy lout at the moment!

Now let’s wave at Daisy!

A lovely relaxing Sunday – I really needed a quiet day after last week! By Friday I felt absolutely at rock bottom physically and emotionally. Friday morning was Owen’s first music group, and I really had to drag myself down there as I felt really shattered. Not just tired, completely spaced out and wobbly. And tearful. Mum phoned me just as I was about to go in and I could feel myself starting to melt down. I pulled myself together and went in. Once I was in and the session started I felt okay.

I don’t think Owen quite knew what to make of it.  Maybe just because it’s a new experience for him, or maybe he picked up a bit on my tiredness but he was more tetchy than usual. At first he was okay, sat on my lap and looking around at the other babies, like he always does (specially the girls!). Then the loud-voiced woman running the group produced a large gorilla from behind her and said Now let’s wave at Daisy! Hello everyone! Hello Daisy! … And my poor little man’s face crumpled and he let out the most heart-rending wail I’ve ever heard come from his lips! He was also not impressed when the other monster babies started shaking their maracas, or when the little girl next to him started crying. But I’m sure he’ll get used to it. He’s a very adaptable little man.

Saturday was the last Level 1 Swimbabies session and we did photos. This was also rather stressful for my wee boy, as well as for me. Basically the photography session involved one instructor plunging the baby under the water, letting go, then mum grabbing the baby out again. And one photo with mum too. My first picture, I managed to blow bubbles all over Owen’s face. The second, Owen turned his head away. So I don’t know how the photos came out. By the end of the session Owen was not a happy chappy! It’s all very well, trying to do all this stuff, mother and baby groups, music groups, swimming, etc. but if it’s going to make me ill and him tetchy it’s kind of defeating the purpose isn’t it?

Today has been a nice lazy day. Rob and Em came over and Owen was on his best behaviour, laughing and playing all afternoon. I felt much better too, not so tired and a little more able to cope with things.

Those two nasty nurses again…

This will be a short post as I am absolutely shattered and meant to go to bed an hour ago, then found myself running round like a blue-arsed fly doing stuff. It has been a bit of a busy day, which I don’t mind but I do think that I really need to have some down time – and Owen does too, of course! My little soldier had his second lot of jabs today, and I think perhaps he realised what was happening as those two nasty nurses descended because he started yelling even before they’d stuck their needles in. His face went an alarming purple and he screamed the place down!

Morning was the mother and baby group, and it was a different lot of mums, some of whom I have met already at the baby massage class. It was a much smaller group and seemed to me to be friendlier. Baby Lucy and her mum whose name I have forgotten were there and I put Owen next to Lucy to see if they would interact at all, well they didn’t really interact but they did accidentally keep almost poking each other in the eye, which was kind of cute…

After the group I trundled off round to mums for lunch and then it was back to the surgery for the jabs. I was also going to get him weighed as he hasn’t been weighed for a while, but after the trauma of the injections I decided not to put him through that, so drove home. Realised when I got in how shattered I feel. I think I must be run down or something, I really felt as if I could just fall asleep where I was sitting. I keep getting breakouts of spots and I’ve had two styes in both eyes, my eyes are permanently sore and I keep rubbing them and making them worse.

And on that note, I’m off to bed!

A glut of cheap shops

Beautiful day, again! Maybe summer has started already and we’re just going to have bright sunshiney days from now on… hmmm, well I can dream can’t I?! Owen and I are settling in to the new flat nicely now, and it’s looking and feeling like home already. I really love it. I mean REALLY love it. I love the location, just two minutes away from the beach and a ten minute walk to the town centre. I love the flat itself, all the furniture and how everything is arranged and the lighting makes it feel all glowy and warm… I love just being here with Owen, just me and him and no one else, I love the fact that I’m independent again and can do what I want, when I want and don’t have to worry about anyone else, well except Owen of course! I feel so happy and positive now about everything – not that I didn’t before, but I’ve realised now how much I’ve missed having my own space and things around me. Owen is settling well, too – he seems really happy and content (except when I change his nappy, that is). Today he has been very chilled, lots of smiles and chuckles. He only woke once last night, at 3am and then at 7ish which doesn’t count as a night feed really although we don’t usually get up till 9am but I bring him into my bed and we have cuddles and chats for an hour or so before I do the morning wash, dress and feed. He’s always really lively and happy first thing in the morning, so it’s lovely to have this morning cuddle time!

Today I went up to the post office to get a new passport form for me. I have one for Owen but I have stupidly lost my passport somehow. I am convinced that it is somewhere, either at mums or somewhere amidst all my stuff, but I can’t find it anywhere so will have to get a new one. Grrr. How annoying is that! Why is there always a queue a mile long at the post office? Do they employ old people to come and stand in line in front of you, with bizarre queries that the sad-eyed post office cashier can’t answer, and forms that need rubber stamps that stopped being manufactured fifty years ago? Anyway, got the forms and then headed home via town. Got waylaid by several cheap shops on the way and ended up spending about fifty quid – how did that happen?! Bought several very important items, such as a sugar jar, several plastic food containers (I already have millions), a clock, a wastepaper basket, picture hooks, more picture hooks and a(nother) extension lead. Oh, and a mini kitchen composter. There seems to be a glut of cheap shops in Worthing, every other shop looks like it appeared yesterday and is thinking about moving on tomorrow. Is this a symptom of the recession or a reflection of the Worthing demographic, I wonder?

I put some factor 50 suncream on Owen before we went out, which unfortunately made him look like he was auditioning for the baby role in the Addams Family. I didn’t get a picture, sadly!

I can see that living so close to town is going to be a drain on my resources. I will have to be far more restrained with my spending.

I do love the composter though!

In Which We Move House.

Owen gets comfy in the new flat.

Well, Owen and me are all settled in our new home! It’s been a pretty busy week as you can imagine, and everyone chipped in to help me out which was brilliant, I couldn’t have done it without my family doing everything they could to make the move as smooth and trouble free as possible. I am so lucky to have such a great family. Mum in particular. Thanks mum, if you’ve discovered my blog! (Not that it’s particularly a secret from anyone, and I haven’t got anything to hide, but I think I’d find it slightly inhibiting if I knew family or friends were reading it.)

So… moving day was Thursday so it was a very early start. We’d spent the days before packing and mum had got all my stuff out of the attic room, so it was all ready to go. Removals men came and got it all packed up while me and Owen kept out of the way in the lounge. Then mum went off with them in the van and I waited for her to phone to say that they’d got it all in. It didn’t take long at all really – we were all in by lunchtime I think! Then it was just getting boxes unpacked or shoved into corners out of the way. Again, mum and John did a lot of the work while I tended to the little prince! It really is quite impossible to do anything that takes longer than half an hour with a demanding little guy to take care of!

Friday I had to take Owen to the doctors in the morning to check his tummy button, which was fine. Then it was back to the flat to carry on moving stuff around. Mum and John came down to put up the final flat packs – Owen’s wardrobe and shelving unit. Finally, all the flat packs are 3 dimensional objects! My flat looks absolutely beautiful. All the furniture I chose fits, and matches, and looks as if it was meant to be there. My favourite things I bought are the two Poang armchairs – one big one for mummy and one teeny one for Owen, and the chest of drawers, which goes perfectly in the bedroom. The rug is also pretty cool!

Saturday was busy with swimming and Owen did brilliantly, as ever. When we got back both of us fell immediately fast asleep on the bed all curled up on the bed with sunshine streaming in through the blinds. Perfect Saturday afternoon! Sunday we went to a lovely pub just outside town for Sunday roast.  So the weekend was fairly hectic all in all.

Today Owen had his first baby massage session, and enjoyed so much he wee-weed all over me. I enjoyed it a lot too, although I didn’t wee. I found it much more relaxed than the mother and baby group actually – I felt more comfortable and everyone seemed to chat a lot more and get on. There was one baby next to me who was the spitting image of Owen, they were so similar in looks and manner it was uncanny! They were both lying in exactly the same stance, both chewing their left fist and gazing over their left shoulder. Plus they both have little double chins. Well, I think Owen will be getting a triple chin if he’s not careful!

The Two-Hour Evening Whinge (or Blue Fit)

Well, the Easter weekend has been a little fraught! Owen’s rash got worse and worse, plus now I too have a strange rash all over my chest and arms! It doesn’t look the same as Owen’s, which is more rash-like, whereas mine is big angry, itchy spots. They are driving me insane, I can’t stop myself scratching them. There is one massive one on my arm, it looks like a mosquito bite that’s had an allergic reaction. The good thing is that Owen seems a lot better today, his face looks so much better and his neck is not so angry although there are still red shiny patches. His chest still looks very spotty, but he’s not scratching as much as he was thank goodness.

We went to the doctors today. What a palaver! I had tried to make an appointment last week, but the receptionist said that I should phone on Tuesday and make a same day appointment. So I phoned this morning at 8am. And phoned again. And phoned again. The phones were busy, it didn’t even go to the call waiting service. Finally, at 8.40am I got through. An extremely frosty receptionist informed me that there were no appointments left, and that I should have phoned earlier. I very frostily informed her that I HAD been phoning since 8am and that I had also tried to make the appointment last week… oh god listen to me, this is just NOT interesting! Anyway I finally got an appointment with the duty doctor, on the understanding that it was for my baby’s rash, not for mine, since it was only a single and not a double appointment! I said, well, don’t you think there might be a small chance that my baby’s rash and mine could be linked? Well, yes, she said, grudgingly. You’ll have to sit in a side room though, with a rash, she said. Unclean! Unclean! I heard her mentally screaming…

The duty doctor didn’t have a clue. Owen had more of a clue than her. She went and fetched another doctor, whom she said had more of a clue, and he came in and looked at me and looked at Owen and didn’t have a clue either. So none of us had a clue. Owen giggled and smiled and kick-kickety-kicked in a very healthy, boisterous way, and his rash had also virtually disappeared from his face, as is prone to happen when one goes to the doctor on an emergency appointment. The doctor who ought to have had a clue decided that he wanted to see us again tomorrow, and told the doctor who didn’t have a clue to prescribe this, that and the other. Which she did. Owen now has yet ANOTHER cream for me to apply while he screams himself purple, plus antibiotic medicine that smells like it contains 99% sugar (unsurprisingly, Owen loves it!)

Mum, Rob and Em went to the flat to put up some of the Ikea furniture tonight. I couldn’t go, as Owen has his evening routine that I have to stick to. He was a complete monster! He cried and cried and would not be consoled. I put him to the breast several times and he fed for almost an hour in total, but each time he finished and I thought he might settle he just screwed up his little face again and screamed. Sometimes he screamed himself purple. The only thing that stopped him was putting him back on the breast. I don’t know if he was just not sucking very effectively, or whether he was just comfort sucking. Eventually he calmed down and went to sleep around 8.30pm, I put him in the cot and he went peacefully to sleep as if nothing was the matter at all! I have come to the conclusion that this The Two-Hour Evening Whinge. Sometimes it’s a Whinge, sometimes it’s a Blue Fit. Tonight was definitely a Blue Fit!

Owen does the Ikea thing…

Posing in Ikea...

I’ve had a bit of a crap day today. For a start, Owen’s skin seems to be getting worse. My poor little man is scratching his chest all the time and it’s an angry red, as is his neck and the underside of his chin. It’s weeping too, which makes me think it could be eczema and it makes me want to cry to think of my baby being in such discomfort. He’s always had very dry skin on his face and hands, but now it just seems to be spreading and getting worse. It’s his neck that looks the worst, it’s all wet and bright red in his folds. I’m washing and creaming him four or five times a day, I’ve tried loads of different creams, as well as an emollient in his bath but nothing seems to really do anything, in fact it’s just got worse and worse.

The other thing was that yesterday I took him back to the nurse to check his umbilical granuloma. He had one silver nitrate treatment last week but there was still a little bit of it left so the nurse (a different one) did another treatment. She then put a plaster on it but it wasn’t on very well and when I checked it later on I was horrified to see that all the skin around his belly button was blackened and in places it looked like the skin had been burned because it was red raw flesh. To be honest it looked quite horrific and I was quite upset. I thought maybe it would look better in the morning but it didn’t and he started really screaming when I was changing him. I was tired as well, as he’d been unsettled in the night and just felt at my wits end. Phoned the doctor but the answer-machine said the surgery was closed – I’d forgotten it was Good Friday. Felt completely desperate by this point and had a cry. I know it’s pointless and counter-productive but sometimes a good cry kind of cleans out the system. I just don’t want my little one to be in pain or discomfort, and I feel powerless to do anything. Just keep applying cream. Even though he hates it and screams blue murder when I try and do his neck creases. I just hope and pray that it is a little phase and he grows out of it soon.

Onto happier things… we went to Ikea with dad on Wednesday and bought a stack of stuff for the new flat. I’m moving next Thursday, I can’t WAIT! A trawl round Ikea with a 10 week old baby is an experience I don’t really want to do too often! It was a logistical nightmare for a start. I drove to Dads, with Owen in the car-seat. That bit was easy. Then at Dads, Dad had to transfer the car-seat to his car, while I fed and changed Owen. Then we discovered that the buggy didn’t fit in the boot of Dad’s car, but Dad said that they had trolleys with car-seat attachments at Ikea so off we went. Well, they didn’t have any sort of trolley that Owen could go in so we just had to put the car-seat with Owen in it into a trolley and wheel him round in that. Got a few funny looks, but I didn’t care. I had a list as long as my arm of stuff I needed, plus I was seduced by a few things, like a mini armchair for Owen that matched the big one for me! We ended up with three trolleys, plus the trolley with Owen in! By the time we got to the self serve area, Owen decided he’d had enough and began to scream the place down. I then ran frantically about trying to find a feeding area while Dad went round and got the rest of the stuff. By the time we left the store, we were all frazzled. And then we had to sit in Croydon rush hour in a hot car for ages. Got back to Dad’s at about 6.3opm, and fed and changed Owen. Then had to transfer the car-seat back to my car, and drive home. I hate driving with Owen in the back where I can’t see him, but to be honest he generally just falls asleep when the car’s in motion. Got home tired and we both slept like babies!

We now have everything we need to furnish our little nest by the sea. Table, chairs, rug, bookcase, armchair, mini armchair for Owen, high chair, and for Owen’s room a wardrobe, shelf unit and toy boxes. Some other stuff too. It’s being delivered sometime in the next five days and then I’ll have a lot of flat packs to assemble…

A right little chatterbox!

Tan-tara! Last night Owen slept from 8.30pm till 5.30am – 9 hours! And he wasn’t even crying when he woke me up, just sort of gurgling and fidgeting and playing with his mobile. I am crossing my fingers that it happens again tonight!

Today I took him up to the surgery to have his umbilical granuloma removed. This is like a little lump of raw flesh that is sticking out of his tummy button. It periodically scabs over, then the scab detaches and it goes all gooey, then scabs up again, ad infinitum. The last time the doctor looked at it he said it looked like it would just heal up by itself eventually but it hasn’t and the nurse said yesterday to get it sorted out. So today it got the silver nitrate treatment. Very quick and easy, and painless. He didn’t even notice, to be honest, my little hero! He chuckled and grinned and wriggled happily away. Then I had to get him back into the Moby wrap. I went into the baby changing room for this tricky manoeuvre. He was not happy about this at all and screamed the place down while I squished one leg, then the other leg in. I managed to tie both Owen and myself in knots, whilst he screamed till he was blue in the face. No good. I had to take the whole thing off and start again. I eventually managed to manipulate his limbs into the sling in the right order, upon which he went totally limp and fell instantly asleep. I emerged into the waiting room where I got some very funny looks – they probably thought I’d been torturing him, by the amount of noise he made!

In the afternoon, went into town to pay a visit to the Early Learning Centre and Mothercare, where I bought unfeasible amounts of rattles and other shaky shaky things for Owen to… well, shake. He shook a few things this evening – admittedly, mainly because I attached them to his wrist! I tried giving him a rattle to grasp and he sort of holds it for a few seconds, but he doesn’t have much interest in keeping hold of it, and he doesn’t actually look at his hand so I don’t think he’s quite worked out that his hands are part of him yet.

In terms of physical development, he has just begun to lift his head and turn it from side to side when lying on his tummy. When he’s sitting up on my lap or when I’m burping him, he holds his head up really well – it’s a little wobbly, but he holds it steady for quite long periods now. He’s also a right little chatterbox, he really seems like he’s trying to say things when he makes his little cooing noises now! I’m so proud of my little man when he does things – even when he does a poo I feel proud!! How weird is that?!

Hmmm… I’ve just had to go in and feed him and he’s still a bit restless so I think maybe last night was a one-off…. oh well!

Love=Milk

His Royal 'O'ness having forty royal winks in the Royal Pavilion.

Long day today. We were up early to go to the mother and baby group. I decided to put Owen in the Moby wrap instead of taking the buggy, and it was actually not too bad, weight-wise. I took him up to the surgery in the Tomy carrier one day last week and it was quite hard on my back, which hasn’t been quite right since the birth. But the sling is much better, because the baby is held right up close to you, so it doesn’t pull on your centre of gravity too much. Plus its really lovely to have a cuddly warm Owen all snuggled up to me as I’m walking along! It was a gorgeous sunny day too, felt very happy and springy! We were the first there, for the first time so I snuck him a quick feed before the group started. It’s weird, I don’t feel like I’m really enjoying the group much. Owen seems to like it though, although he doesn’t do much. He just sort of lies on the floor in between the monster babies who kick and squeal and bash their clattery, colourful, monster rattles dangerously close to his little head. He is totally oblivious, however. His favourite occupation is farting. Oh, and looking over his shoulder. That’s the limit of his activity at mother and baby group at the moment.

The nurse brought her scales so I got him weighed – he is now 12lb 14oz! I put the dot on his chart and he is a perfect weight. He is now travelling nicely up the 75th centile, having jumped up quite a few to get there. He’s levelled out now, and is putting on around half a pound a week or thereabouts.

After the group, one of the girls invited everyone back to her house for tea so I went along to be sociable. I didn’t stay long, went home and Owen had a little sleep in the garden (I made his baby gym into a sort of tent) and then he woke up and screamed blue murder for ages… totally inconsolable, feeding didn’t help, nor did changing… finally he fell asleep on my bed and I escaped to grab a cup of tea, and when I returned he had a happy smile on his sleeping face and a huge messy poo in his nappy! How simple and functional a baby’s path to fulfillment is!! Feed, poo, sleep. That’s pretty much it until around three months. Cuddles too – but actually whenever I attempt to just have a cuddle, Owen opens his mouth in that funny sideways manner, grabs frantically at my boob and croaks desperately as if he were dying of thirst. Cuddles, my arse. What he needs is milk, milk and more milk. Love=Milk at the moment. I keep waiting for the Love=Cuddles moment, but it hasn’t happened yet!!