Neil Watkins, 14 March 1948 – 22 December 2011.
Big Granddad and Owen having a giggle together
25 December 2011. I’ve never had to write a sadder letter, on Christmas Day or any other.
Dear Dad.
If you were here now , I think I know what you’d say. You’d tell us all to bugger off and do something less bloody miserable. But you’d be secretly pleased that you were the centre of attention, of course! I am trying very hard to not be bloody miserable, honestly I am, dad, but it’s really hard. I miss you. I can’t get my head around the fact that you are not here on this earth, and that you aren’t going to come over and see us anymore, make Owen giggle and tell bad jokes about everything under the sun. So I’ll make this short, so we can get on and do something less miserable.
I will always look back on my childhood years as idyllic. Our family life was very special. Although you and mum didn’t have much money, you made sure that we didn’t miss out on anything. I remember a lot of time spent out of doors – many, many wonderful camping trips and walks in the country. You always shared your own passions with me, nature, reading, music – especially music – I owe all these parts of myself to you. You showed me how to do things differently, to look at things differently, to work things out for myself. Sometimes that made my Maths teachers a little stressed, but if the answer was right then you had the last laugh!
In recent years, you became a doting granddad to Owen. He, I know, loves you and looks up to you in the same way that I did as a child. You will always be ‘Big Granddad’ to Owen. He is such a chip off the old Watkins block! He has your irrepressible spirit, a musical ear, an experimental approach to food and tells really, really silly jokes. I wish with all my heart that you could be here to watch him grow up. I will make sure that he knows his big granddad, always.
This letter doesn’t say even half of what I’d like it to. Maybe the thing I’m trying to say is just that I really love you. I hope you know that I always have and I always will.
I’m going to stop being miserable now and remember all the happy times.
Your loving daughter
Sam
x
